


A Genuinely Good Person

by AFanofALotofThings227



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: AU, Canon Rewrite, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:02:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26913343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AFanofALotofThings227/pseuds/AFanofALotofThings227
Summary: Michael chooses 5 people for his experiment. Eleanor Shellstrop, Chidi Anagonye, Angel Wright, Tahani Al-Jamil & Jason Mendoza. For four of these people, he knows why they are in bad place. For one, he has no clue, but he doesn't care, because he can still torture her incessantly like all the others.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Everything is Fine

Angel woke up to find herself on a white couch in a white empty room with blank walls. One of the walls had the text on it which read "Welcome! Everything is fine!". Angel worried what that ment. After sitting down for a bit, a grey-haired man wearing a bow-tie and a suit came into the room.  
"Angel, come on in!" he said.  
Angel followed him into the room. She didn't want to be rude to man she just met.  
"How are you today?" asked the man.  
"I'm a bit freaked out, to be honest," said Angel. "Where am I and who are you? No need to be rude, but I'm a bit confused."  
"You, Angel Wright," started the man, "Are dead. Your life on Earth has ended, and you are now in the next phase of your existence in the universe. I am Michael, the architect of the neighbourhood you will be staying in."  
Angel looked confused. "Wait, what? Is this some kind of joke?"  
"No, it's real," said Michael. "This is all real."  
"I never really thought of an afterlife or even a soul was something that existed," said Angel. "I always thought that humans were always a physical being, guess I was wrong."  
"You certainly were, Angel," said Michael.  
"So, I have some questions," Angel said.  
"Thought you might," Michael answered.  
"How did I die?" asked Angel. "I can't remember."  
"In cases of traumatic or emberassing deaths," Michael started, "we erase the memory to allow for a more peaceful transition. Are you sure you want to hear?"  
"Actually, I think I might hold it off if it was that traumatic," answered Angel.  
"So, who was right?" asked Angel. "About all of this?"  
"Let's see," Michael started, "Hindus, a little bit right, muslims a little bit right. Jews, christians, buddhists, every religion guessed about 5%. Except for Doug Fawcett."  
"Wait?" Angel questioned. "Doug was right?"  
Doug was one of Angel's friends. Almost like a father to her. He always tried to help out with all of her environmental, practical, activist and moral campaigns. Sad she might never see him again. But overall, the system Doug thought of sounds a lot better than any of the religious systems made though. She would hate for any of them to be right.  
"Yes," said Michael. "We even have a picture of him up there. He's pretty famous around here. I'm very lucky to have that."  
"So, since Doug was right, am I in The Good Place or The Bad Place?" Angel finally asked.  
"You're in the Good Place," Michael said. "Congratulations."  
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
Michael then took Angel on a walk through the neighbourhood. It was not how she pictured the afterlife. In fact, it was extremely different.  
"So here's how it works," Michael explained, "The Good Place is divided into distinct neighbourhoods. Each one contains exactly 322 people who have been perfectly selected to blend together into a blissful harmonic balance."  
"Do all the neighbourhoods look like this?" asked Angel, who was still curious.  
"No, every neighbourhood is unique," said Michael, "Some have warm weather, some cold, some with cities, some with farmland, but in each one, in every blade of grass, every ladybug, every blade of grass, every ladybug, every detail has been precisely designed and calibrated for our residents."  
"There's a lot of frozen yoghurt places," said Angel.  
"Yeah," Michael explained, "that's the one thing we put in all the neighbourhoods. People love frozen yoghurt. Don't know what to tell you."  
"You're going to have a million more questions, I know, but for right now, better grab a seat," said Michael.  
Angel tried to sit down on a seat to watch a short film, which she assumed was going to show her the rules of the afterlife. Michael showed up on screen.  
"Hello everyone," said Michael, "And welcome to your first day in the afterlife. You were all good people, but how do we know that you were good? How are we sure? During your time on Earth, every action you did had a positive or a negative value, depending on how much good or bad put into the universe."  
Seriously, every action, every single action? Even eating a sandwich? Even buying a harmless magazine?  
"Every sandwich you ate, every time you bought a magazine..."  
This is not how Doug described this place to her.  
"Every single thing you did," Michael said, "Had an effect that rippled out over time, and ultimately created some amount of good or bad."  
From Angel's perspective, this was an awful system. Obviously, they weren't as bad as the other religious systems she grew up with. If they were, Angel would be in the bad place right now because she was a gay atheist.  
"You know how some people pull into the breakdown lane when there's traffic?" he asked rhetorically. "And they think to themselves, 'Who cares? No one's watching!' We were watching! Surprise!"  
Everyone laughed. Angel couldn't see what was so funny.  
"Anyway, when your time on Earth has ended," Michael started to explain, "We calculate the total value of your life, using our perfectly accruate measuring system. Only the people with the highest scores, the true cream of the crop, get to come here, to The Good Place. What happens to everyone else, you ask? Don't worry about it."  
Angel looked mad. This was an awful system. And nobody seemed to notice. I guess they were kind of happy to get out of their regular cruel world, but the afterlife looked just as cruel from her perspective so far.  
"The point is, you are here because you lived one of the best lives that could be lived," said Michael.  
Who cares? All of her family and friends might go to The Bad Place. Which sounds as bad as the classic Hell. Will she ever see her wife again? Her parents? Her best friend? Her daughter? She hoped she would grow up well. Course she will. Helen would be a good single mother to their adoptive daughter. Just, she had to die so soon, and she didn't know why. How is anyone supposed to be happy here?  
"And you won't be alone," said Michael. "Your true soulmate is here too." Everyone mumbled. Including Angel. If soulmates were real, she would know it was Helen. It was her beautiful wife. It couldn't be anyone else. Surely. "One of the other people in your neighbourhood, is your actual soulmate, and you will spend eternity together. So welcome to eternal happiness, welcome to The Good Place. Sponsored by, otters holding hands while they sleep."  
The best and most logical thing he has said this entire time.  
"You know when you see a picture of two otters holding hands?" asked Michael. "That's how you're going to feel every day."  
Doesn't sound like it.  
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
Angel continued to walk with Michael. Her current problems with the system weren't anything against him personally. Just like she wouldn't walk up to the prime minister and go "YOU SUCK!" That would just be incredibly rude. These people might not know or realise the implications of their flawed system. But she wanted to learn more information.  
"So, who's in the Bad Place that would shock me?" she asked.  
"Mozart, Picasso, Elvis," Michael began. "Basically every artist ever. Every US president except Lincoln."  
"That actually sounds about right," Angel laughed. Angel had met a few good artists, but mostly the more famous ones could be really awful people. And of course, there were barely any good American presidents.  
"What about Florence Nightingale?" Angel asked. Florence was someone Angel deeply looked up to, and if she wasn't there, she was done.  
"That was close, but no, she didn't make it," Michael said.  
This makes no sense. Florence was an amazing person especially for her time how did Angel make it in but Florence just came close? Shows how bad the system is. She didn't know what to say.  
"All those amazing people down there," Angel said weirdly. "So hard to believe."  
"Again, it's an incredibly selective system," Michael said. "Most people don't make it here. But you, an activist who saved the lives of so many people, stood up for what you thought was right, spreading your message around the world. You're special, Angel. And by the way, welcome to your new home."  
Angel looked and saw a beautiful cottage which looked like it only had 5 rooms in. She hoped one was a study. It looked so great.  
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Michael started. She had to admit, it was. It really was. "You see, in The Good Place, every person gets to live in a home that perfectly matches his or her true essence."  
"Or their," corrected Angel.  
"Of course," Michael said, "or their."  
"Cool," said Angel. "I guess that's why my house for example is an adorable little cottage, while other people might have homes that are bigger, like that one." She pointed to the very big mansion on her left. Another cottage was on her right.  
"As you can see, the interior has been decorated just how you like it," Michael said. "In a design and unique style with of course, rainbow wallpaper."  
She had to admit, this was pretty great.  
"Oh, let me show you the video system here," Michael said taking her over. "You can review everything that happened in your life from your point of view. There we go. Here's your human rights mission to Ukraine. I mean, you got a lot of points for that one. It really put you over the top."  
"I guess me and my soulmate are going to be very happy here," she said, not meaning it of course. She knew her true love was Helen.  
"Well, about that," Michael started. "This is quite rare, but it does happen, we weren't able to find you a soulmate. You will have to stay here on your own."  
Oh, god. Angel hadn't lived alone in years. This was going to be very hard. But she could make friends, she'll have neighbours.  
"Well, if you excuse me," Michael ended, "I have other people to attend to."  
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
After a while of settling in, going on her study, working on some documents, she decided to walk out and meet her new neighbours. Luckily, Michael was there to introduce them.  
"Michael, what have you been up to," she heard someone say.  
"Eleanor, Chidi," said Michael. "I'd like you to meet Tahani, Jianyu and the soulmateless Angel. Tahani & Jianyu themselves are soulmates and your next-door neighbours."  
"Can I just say?" Tahani said to Eleanor. "I love your house! It's so tiny and cute, it's like a child's plaything, like for a family of mice, or for a very fancy little dog. I love it, it's so sweet and teensy. Just like you. Boop." She 'booped' her.  
Michael laughed.  
"You booped me," Eleanor laughed.  
"Tahani, you know that behaviour can sometimes come off as rude, right?" Angel asked.  
"Um, it's fine," Eleanor said.  
"Tahani and Jianyu are having a little welcome party tonight and they're inviting the entire neighbourhood," Michael explained.  
"I simply just adore entertaining," Tahani said, politely. "Don't I just adore it, Jianyu? Oh, by the way, Jianyu here is a buddhist monk and he obeys a strict code of silence. So when you see him smiling or nodding, that's his way of jumping up and down with glee. Isn't that right, darling?" Jianyu nodded.  
"That's fine," Angel said. "I knew a lot of buddhist monks in my time. Really nice people. Always accepting of people like me." Everyone looked at her. "Oh, I'm gay."  
Everyone looked at her weirdly, except Eleanor, who actually looked rather hot, they stopped looking after a while.  
"So, we'll see you all tonight," Tahani said.  
"Great!" said Eleanor.  
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
Angel walked into Tahani's mansion and saw a bunch of people there.  
"Hey, Angela," Tahani said.  
"It's Angel," she corrected.  
"Oh, sorry," Tahani continued. "Glad you could make it."  
"Well, I haven't really god that much to do, have I?" asked Angel, rhetorically.  
"Well, we hope you have a nice time," Tahani said.  
So Angel just stood around, waiting for a while, until Eleanor and Chidi came over.  
"Angel, hey," Chidi said, "Tell us a little bit about your life."  
"Well," said Angel. "I grew up in England, moved all around the world, including America, obviously, fell in love with a beautiful woman, kept fighting for rights, and saved the lives of many people in the world."  
Eleanor frowned as her & Chidi walked.  
After a while, Michael hit a glass, looking like he was going to raise a toast.  
"You all know I am the architect of this neighbourhood," Michael began, "But what you don't know is, golly I'm not supposed to tell you this, but oh what the heck? This is actually the very first neighbourhood I have ever designed! I have been an apprentice for 200 years, and my boss has finally given me my first solo project! I'm finally glad to do this, and I want to make this perfect because every one of you deserves a perfect world, because every single one of you is a good person. That's it for me. Back to you, Tahani."  
"Bravo, Michael, bravo!" said Tahani. "And I would just like to say if any of you would like to play tennis tonight, we have 36 regulation grass tennis courts. Such fun, cheers!"  
Why would someone want that many tennis courts? Maybe Tahani is just a big fan of tennis, but she didn't seem like the type. Angel definitely wasn't, she never was one for sport. She always just loved being active and supporting what's right though.  
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
After the party, Angel went home and decided to study all night. What was really the point of sleeping in the afterlife? But she could of course, tell the passing of time. She enjoyed the studying a lot and never wanted to stop. The next day, though, She was suddenly wearing a yellow and black striped shirt. She hadn't worn it before, so she looked out the window and saw giant bugs and giraffes and heard Ariana Grande playing.  
She ran out, saw Tahani and Michael talking.  
"Michael," Tahani said. "Is that giant terrifying ladybug supposed to be there?"  
"Ah, great question, Tahani," Michael said. "No. No it's not. I have no idea why any of this is happening or how to control it."  
"Then what should we do, Michael?" Angel asked.  
"Run away?" Tahani suggested.  
"Yes!" Michael answered.  
They both ran away.  
"Guys!" Angel said, annoyed. She didn't know what was going on either, but avoiding and running away from the problem won't help. But to find out what was going on, she had to run to them.  
Angel just stood there, unsure of what to do. She had not imagined this afterlife. She could tell this was going to be a different part of her life. Or her death.


	2. Flying

Angel sat in Tahani's house with all these blind system-loving people thinking that everything is okay, when everything going on proved that the system was flawed. She sat down next to the authority figure, Michael, waiting for what it was he had to say.  
"Everybody, everybody!" he said. "Gather round, please, thank you, thank you. Obviously, there's something very wrong with this neighbourhood." Or every neighbourhood, if this is anything to go by. "We don't know what it is, how long it will last, or what caused it."  
Do they know ANYTHING?  
"What do we know, Janet?" Michael asked a robot.  
"We know where it happened," Janet answered. "Here."  
Well, duh!  
"Yes, thank you, Janet," Michael said. "The chaos happened here. See, that's the trouble with these perfect systems." This system was far from perfect. Angel was only here for a day and she already knew that. "One little flaw can lead to, well it can lead to, Gary over there."  
Michael pointed to a highly disjointed man, who's face looked like a badly animated cartoon.  
"Boy, my armpits are leaking," Michael complained. "What is that called again?"  
Why does this guy know nothing about humanity?  
"Sweat," Janet answered.  
"Right, right," Michael said. "Still not used to being inside a human body. And what do you do with sweat? Do you lick it away? Is that right?"  
"No," Janet said. "You dab it with a cloth."  
"Oh, right," Michael said. "And then you lick the cloth? That seems weirder."  
Luckily, the rest of the residents were as disgusted at the situation as Angel.  
"Michael, look!" Tahani spoke up, as the yellow and black stripes magically started to drift off from her.  
"Okay, that's a good sign!" Michael celebrated. "It could mean that this is almost over."  
"Oh, such a relief," Tahani said. "That was my first time as a fashion don't." What? "And I did not care for it."  
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
Angel sat in her chair at 22 years old. She was just out of college and was turning out for a good life. Her and Helen have moved in together and didn't care what anyone thought. They were both gay and proud. And they were going to speak what they thought.  
"Morning Helen," said Angel, when Helen got out of bed. "You're up late."  
"Is there a set time when I get up?" said Helen.  
"Not really," said Angel. "I do prefer to focus on my work alone."  
"What work?" asked Helen. "What have you got to do?"  
"Plan some new human rights missions," said Angel. "These people should not be even allowed to speak. Why are racism and homophobia even still things."  
"People are assholes, Angel," Helen said. "You know that. You have to know that, with a name like Angel Wright."  
"I just want to strive to make the world better."  
"You're filled with so much ambition," said Angel. "One of the many reasons why I love you."  
They kissed passionately, hoping to stay together forever.  
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
Angel sat down at the town meeting, which she was interested in. She guessed it was going to be an activity. She hoped it would go right. Better than most things.  
"All right, everyone," Michael announced. "Let's get started. Things have settled down. Phew!" She had to admit, she was glad things have settled down at least a bit. "So hopefully, we're off and running. Welcome to Orientation Day Two. Now today, we're going to something that everyone has always wanted to do."  
It's probably going to be something like flying. Something which Angel never really cared about. Kind of ironic since her name was Angel.  
"Flying."  
Called it!  
The crowd cheered.  
"Now that you're dead," Michael suggested. "Let's live a little, right!"  
Angel was still shocked that an afterlife existed.  
"Uh, sorry," Tahani said. "Michael, if I might?" Tahani & Jianyu got on stage. "I was just thinking, earlier today in all of the chaos, large swarths of this neighbourhood were destroyed. We thought perhaps some of us can volunteer to clean up the debris, you know it's a fun way to band together as a community, isn't that right, Jianyu?"  
Jianyu nodded.  
"Uh, yeah, sorry," Tahani said. "For those of you who don't know, my soulmate here, Jianyu, is a Buddhist monk. He took a vow of silence, which he's still observing, even here, in the Good Place. It's truly inspiring."  
Good idea, Tahani. Angel would definitely prefer that to flying as it would actually mean something.  
"Well, Tahani," Michael answered. "It's not really your job to clean up." Really, man? "But I suppose there's no harm if you really want to."  
"Oh, well, hurrah," Tahani celebrated. "We need about 12 volunteers."  
Angel was the first to speak up.  
"I'd love to join in, Tahani," Angel volunteered, happily.  
Eleanor & Chidi were the last to volunteer.  
"Eleanor & I would love to help!" Chidi shouted out.  
"Ah, hurrah, hurrah, yay!" Tahani celebrated.  
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
As they were cleaning up, Tahani started to talk, as she always does.  
"You know," she said. "This really reminds me of my time in Vietnam, picking up mortar shells with my godmother, Diana. Doesn't really matter what she's a princess of, it's not that important."  
"Diana was a lovely woman," Angel said. "I met her a few times when I was a kid. I've never been a big fan of the monarchy, but I have nothing against them as people."  
"Tahani, Angel," Michael came over. "How's the clean up going?"  
"Oh, swimmingly, Michael," Tahani said. "I have to say, this neighbourhood you've built is truly a masterpiece, the likes of which I've never seen. And I've been to Johnny Depp's private bird sanctuary."  
"It does look pretty good," Angel commented honestly. She had her issues, but this place certainly looked good.  
"Thank you, that's very kind of you both to say," Michael said. "But it's also dead wrong. This neighbourhood is a disaster. See, I must've made a mistake somewhere, and it led to all this chaos." OR the system is rigged and that's how everything happened. "And now I'm just terrified it's going to happen again. I'm trying to put a good face on. Oh, this face that I've constructed for myself. But the truth is, I'm just miserable. I have to go. Thank you so much for your service."  
Angel felt sorry for Michael. What else was she supposed to do? It was the system's fault. She guessed Michael was tricked by the system. That he meant to make a nice, unique neighbourhood for good people to live in. She really did feel sorry for him. So far, he didn't seem like the typical authority figure she saw on Earth.  
"Oh no," Tahani said. "Powerful people do not handle failure well."  
"You're telling me," Angel said. "When I fail, I keep trying. Michael, he seems distraught. Maybe because he's never experienced failure before."  
"He could be heading for a total meltdown!" Tahani exclaimed. "Angel, Jianyu, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Jianyu nodded. "Should we say it at the same time? One, two, three."  
"We must help Michael!" both Tahani & Angel said out loud. Jianyu stayed completely silent.  
"Oh, you sly devil!" Tahani exclaimed to Jianyu, while Angel laughed. "Keep me on my toes, don't you? All right, come on you two, let's go."  
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
Angel & Helen were holding hands proudly in the store after moving to America, when they got to the checkout. The shopkeeper spotted them and looked away.  
"Sorry," he said. "We don't serve your kind."  
"Are you serious?" Angel stood up. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"  
"Babe," Helen said. "Calm down."  
"No, I will not calm down because of this stupid homophobe refusing us service!" Angel shouted, angrily.  
"Let's just go to another shop," Helen insisted.  
"Fine," Angel said.  
Angel walked out.  
Helen stayed to give the shopkeeper some words of her own.  
"You know why we came to America?" Helen asked.  
"Why?" asked the shopkeeper.  
"To get rid of the likes of you," Helen answered. "Because people like you are human garbage, and you have to be sought out."  
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
Angel, Tahani, Jianyu & Michael sat together on a table for four outside a frozen yoghurt restaraunt. They all ordered some yoghurt to eat.  
"I can't believe they managed to mix one million flavours together," Tahani said. "And yet somehow I can taste every individual one. It's remarkable."  
"It's delicious, it really is," Angel said. "Never thought I'd get this taste from frozen yoghurt, but I have."  
"I got no-flavour," Michael said, sadly. "It's all I deserve really."  
"No," Tahani said, before Michael interuppted.  
"Look," Michael said, "I appreciate you trying to cheer me up. I really do, but you don't understand." Angel had to be honest, she doesn't really. She's only been here for 2 days. Maybe she misjudged the place. But first impressions do matter, and they weren't good ones.   
"This was the very first neighbourhood I got to design," Michael continued. "It was the chance to prove myself, and now I've blown it."  
"You know," said Tahani. "Sometimes a flaw can make something even more beautiful, like with Cindy Crawford and how short she is."  
"Tahani's right," Angel said. "Even if it is your fault, it's only one mistake. It could be a one-off. You can easily learn from it."  
"Oh, Tahani, Angel," Michael addressed. "If I made one tiny mistake in my design, if there's a single glitch in the system, if even one blade of grass is angled a fraction of a degree off, the whole neighbourhood is compramised.  
"You're going too far," Angel insisted. "You're jumping into things too much, surely it's not that bad."  
Michael looked over at a dog and panicked.  
"Whose dog is that?" Michael asked. "Guys, whose dog is that? WHOSE DOG IS THAT? See, this is one of the glitches I was talking about. Nice try, puppy!"  
Michael kicked the dog so high, it fell into the sun.  
"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Angel exclaimed.  
Another girl came over, who looked like she was looking for something.  
"Hey, Teacup!" she said. "Hey," she said to Michael. "Have you seen my dog?"  
Oh no.  
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
Michael used his powers to get a new dog out for the girl.  
"Everything," Michael said. "Everything seems fine."  
"Teacup," the girl said to Teacup. "Thank goodness you're okay!"  
"Everyone," Michael announced. "It is merely the construct of a dog. It feels no pain or joy or love."  
Seriously?  
"Teacup doesn't love me?" the girl questioned.  
"Oh, oh, no, no, no, no!" Michael lied. "It definitely feels love." That girl is going to have the worst pet. "Do you actually want a dog that loves you a little bit more, because I can kick her right back into the sun and get you another one just like that."  
Seriously?  
"No!" the girl said.  
"Oh, boy," Michael panicked. "I'm just making it worse."  
Michael collapsed.  
"Okay, all right," Tahani said. "That's all right. Breathe. Breathe. Do you breathe? If you do, then just breathe. Because everything's fine."  
Something fell on Michael's head as Jianyu pointed up.  
"What is going on?" Angel asked.  
"It's raining garbage!" the girl exclaimed. "RUN!"  
Everyone ran.  
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
Everyone sat down in Tahani's house, trying to comfort Michael. He was really having the worst day.  
"I don't know what's happening to me," he complained. "It's my duty to be calm and in control and I'm falling apart."  
"You don't have to feel like that, Michael," Angel said. "Even eternal beings make a few mistakes."  
"Michael," Tahani insisted. "You're a paragon of fortitude. You are a mountain of strength."  
"I'm not a mountain of strength," Michael cried. "I'm a canyon full of poo-poo!"  
Angel was speechless.  
"Jianyu," Tahani whispered. "The architect of this neighbourhood has just referred to himself as a canyon full of poo-poo. Surely, now you will say something. Grace us with your vocalized wisdom. Please, I'm begging you."  
Jianyu went other and put his arm around Michael, but still stayed completely silent.  
"Oh," Michael said. "Oh, I understand. The strength is inside me. It's been there all along. No, of course, I can overcome any obstacle. Oh, thank you, Jianyu, thank you. I'm back!" Michael smiled and walked off.  
"Well, Jianyu, that was something else," Angel said.  
"You did it," Tahani celebrated. "Oh, you have so much to teach me. Maybe I should be silent too. No really, look, here I go."  
Tahani said nothing for under 5 seconds and then started speaking again.  
"Oh!" Tahani said. "That was wonderful! So cleansing!"  
"Brace yourself, Tahani," Angel said. "It's really not your thing. I'm going to go, I need to do at least a bit of work in my study today."  
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
"You really showed him," said Angel.  
"You showed him first," said Helen. "I just covered for you for a bit. And now, I can tell you my surprise."  
"What is it?" Angel asked.  
"I got us 2 tickets to Ukraine," she said. "You've always wanted to do one of your human rights missions there, this'll be pretty interesting."  
Angel hugged and kissed Helen, as she was overjoyed she did this.  
"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Angel said. "Now, it's going to be very hard pretending we're just friends, but we're going to have to do it, just this once."  
"I actually think you will find it harder than me," Helen insisted.  
"Not when activism is involved!" Angel celebrated.  
They both walked off, ready to fly.  
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
Angel went back home to her study, and decided to study the neighbourhood more. Find out about the place where she'd be living for now, it'll be nice. She didn't like the system so far, but opinions changed.  
She wondered what Helen would say if she was here.  
Boy, did Angel miss her. More than anything. How was she supposed to live without her? Live her entire afterlife? She's already made a few friends, yes, but it felt like she couldn't handle even her death without her true soulmate. But she's going to have to deal with it.  
Because if she can't, what will become of her?


	3. Tahani Al-Jamil (and Eleanor Shellstrop)

You know what happens a lot when you're alone? Well, you get lonely. Angel herself never felt like that. She always had Helen, her friends and her family to talk to. But now, obviously she needed friends if she was going to be happy with. Well, she needed something. Friends could be very helpful when you need them.

Just as Angel was thinking, which was distracting her from all of her work, there was a knock at the door as Angel immediately answered.

"Hello," Tahani said, walking in.

"Tahani, what brings you here?" Angel asked.

"Well, I was just in the neighbourhood," Tahani joked. "Don't you get it, Angel? Because we're all in the same afterlife, so, you know, I'm always in the neighbourhood. Do you get it?"

Angel did not personally find the joke funny, but she didn't want to be impolite, so she said. "That's a good joke, Tahani."

"Anyway," Tahani said. "This is for you." Tahani gave Angel a nice-looking bush plant which looked very pretty and nice. "Just a little housewarming plant to tell you if there's ever anything that you need, I am right next door. I'm giving one to Eleanor too."

"Thanks," Angel said. "I'll find a nice place for it."

"So, I should go," Tahani said.

"See you later," said Angel.

As Tahani left, Angel thought about how much she needed friends. Tahani was right there, giving her a gift. And it was a pretty good gift. Maybe she should repay her in some way. It's always nice to return gifts.

But what should she give her?

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
Angel knocked on Tahani's door.

"Hello, Angel," Tahani immediately said. "Jianyu, darling, look, it's Angel from next door.

Jianyu was quietly meditating.

"He's quietly meditating," Angel said. "You shouldn't bother him."

Tahani looked confused. "Come on in," she said, happily.

"Well, I'm repaying your gift with a gift of my own," Angel said, giving her a gift. "It's a book on parties, which I know you like."

"Well, that's great," said Tahani. "But I'm not really that into books."

"What?" Angel joked. "There's a big bookshelf right behind you!"

Tahani looked behind her. "Oh, yes, how'd that get there?"

As Tahani put another book on the bookshelf, there was another knock at the door.

"Hello, Eleanor," Tahani immediately said. "Jianyu, darling, look, it's Eleanor from next door."

"Is he asleep?" Eleanor asks confused.

"Yes and no," Angel said. "Meditation techniques by Buddhist monks are an ancient culture which are usually used for mindfulness."

Eleanor & Tahani both looked confused.

"Come on in," Tahani said. "What brings you to our lovely home, my dear?"

"Well, I'm simply repaying your kind gift with a housewarming gift of my own," Eleanor said. "Fresh pears. It's a plant, just like your gift, but you can actually eat them. So maybe it's a better gift. Who's to say?"

"That's so kind," Tahani said. "However, in, um, Chinese culture, pears are actually a symbol of bad luck, and I don't want to offend Jianyu, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to throw these in the garbage."

"Actually," Angel said. "Don't want them to go to waste. I'll take them. Will that be okay with you, Eleanor?"

Eleanor looked a little uncomfortable and annoyed. "Yes, that's fine," she said. Angel took the pears, which were her favourite fruit on Earth.

"You two, come and sit down," Tahani said happily.

Eleanor, Angel & Tahani all sat down on the seats. "We haven't even had a minute to discuss all of the mayhem in our neighbourhood yet, it's so disconcerting."

Were these two completely blind to what was going on?

"What do you think's causing it?" Eleanor asked.

"Well, I'm sure I don't know," Tahani said. "You got any ideas, Angel?"

"Well, I think Michael must've made a mistake somewhere," Angel suggested. "Something which broke this stupid system to pieces even more. And it just keeps getting worse..."

"Okay," Eleanor interrupted. "Sorry for interrupting, but that doesn't seem to be the case, this system is perfect. I mean, we all got in, we're all good people, right? Everything's fine."

Eleanor stumbled over her words a lot. Like she was lying about every single thing.

"Eleanor, I think you're right," said Tahani. "But we still need to be cautious. In fact, tomorrow, I'm actually going door-to-door, to make sure every single person in this entire neighbourhood is keeping calm and carrying on. Because I think helping others would make me feel like I truly belong here, you know."

"That's a really good, idea, Tahani," Angel said. "I mean, I love helping people and you would need some extra support."

Eleanor sat there for a minute until she said. "I'll come to, I mean I would love to do my part to help the neighbourhood, not to mention, get a little bonding time with you two ladies!"

"Oh, hurrah!" Tahani clapped. "Such fun!"

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
So the next day, the three of them started walking down the bridge, finding houses going door-to-door, as Eleanor arrived a little bit late.

"So all I want to do is just check in," Tahani suggested. "See how everyone's holding up. Just bring some cheer to these extraordinary people."

Extraordinary, and very gullible people.

"Cool," Eleanor said. "So, tell me about yourselves. I mean, I want to hear it all, girlfriends, the good the bad, the really bad, the embarrassing, the humiliating. Just... let's bond."

"Okay, I was born in Pakistan," Tahani started to speak. "Raised in London, schooled in Paris, but I think the main reason I'm in The Good Place is that I raised quite a lot of money for non-profit groups."

Seems like a good reason to be here. Donating to charity was something Angel did regularly. When she had enough money, of course. Tahani was obviously rich, so that must've never mattered to her.

"Did you ever skim a little off the top for yourself?" Eleanor suggested, a bit rudely. What's the point of donating to charity if you're just going to keep even a tiny little bit for yourself?

"Gracious, no!" Tahani was shaken. "Every penny was accounted for. And I raised sixty billion dollars, that's quite a lot of pennies. But I also dabbled in other professions. I was a model, a museum curator, an 'it' girl, oh, I was Baz Luhrmann's muse for a while. That was fun."

"Modelling?" Eleanor questioned. "That's a crazy life. Can you tell me about that rock bottom you hit?"

Eleanor definitely looked like she was trying to test Tahani somehow. Trying to stump her.

"Oh, I didn't really do it for long," Tahani said. "It just didn't really fit my body. I'm cursed with apple bossom."

"OK," Eleanor said, trying to change the subject. "Angel, what about you?"

"Well," Angel started. "I was born and raised in England, travelled the world with my wife, raising money, fighting for rights of not just people like me, but all minorities. Started boycotts, protests, sent complaints, thrown a few cases at the water, barely any of these things worked, but I kept trying, someone needed to make a difference in the world, no matter how small."

"Wow," Eleanor said. "You two are really good people."

"Oh, you know in Arabic," said Tahani. "Tahani means Congratulations, and Al-Jamil means beautiful, so my full name would be..."

"Congratulations, beautiful," both Eleanor & Angel said at once.

"Thanks, you two," Tahani said, as she walked away and they went and carried on with their activity.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
"Hey babe," Angel said to Helen one day. "Got you some coffee."

"Thanks," Helen said.

"Arizona is such a weird place," Angel said. "Wonder what Mum would think of it."

"Wait a second," Helen said.

"What?" Angel asked.

"That's Andy's Coffee," Helen stated. "We shouldn't go there. There's a boycott."

"Is it for a good reason or a really stupid reason?" asked Angel.

Angel held boycotts herself when she found unfair work practices or a corrupt boss, but some people held them for stupid reasons like not getting the right coffee they wanted when they asked for it.

"A really, really, good reason," Helen said, opening her laptop and logging in to find something. "He's sexually harassing people. Look, an undercover reporter went for an interview."

Helen showed Angel this video.

"Here's the thing, sweetheart," the guy said. "You're very qualified, but you're also what we call in the coffee shop game, a dogface. You're a three, and you have to be a nine to work here, it's just math."

"So, I didn't get the job?" the reporter said.

"No," the suspicious man answered. "Dogface, you didn't get the job. All right, I'll check your references just to be nice." He started touching her breasts. "Oh, they're good!"

"Oh my god," Angel said after watching that video. "We can't support a man like that! He fooled me! He even offered me a job. I said no, of course, but..."

"What are you going to do?" Helen asked.

Angel picked up both coffees and ran to the store where the guy was standing.

"Why are you here?" he asked. "Change your mind about the job?"

"Nope," Angel said, as she thrown her coffee at him. "Changed my mind about the coffee."

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
Eleanor, Tahani & Angel ended up at Glenn's house.

"Glenn, we just wanted to make sure you were all right," Tahani said.

"Yeah, check in on you," Angel added.

"You two are sweet," Glenn said. He turned to Eleanor. "Aren't they just the nicest people?"

"That is what a lot of people are saying," Eleanor said.

"Everyone I know is saying that," Glenn said.

"Yup, it's just a big neighbourhood," Eleanor pointed out. "Filled out with enormous mansions and people that love Tahani & Angel!"

They all laughed.

Angel wondered why everyone was saying stuff like this. This is The Good Place, not only is everyone supposed to be a nice person here, but all Tahani really did was throw a party and organize a clean-up, which are presumably things everyone in this neighbourhood would do. And now she's going door-to-door, but not all of them know that. Angel herself, who they were talking about in the same way, hadn't really done anything yet, why were they praising them so much? Of course, she did appreciate the compliments, but she still questioned it a lot. It's like, everyone already knew who they all were here.  
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
"Eleanor, Angel and I just wanted to see if there's anything we can do to help you," Tahani said to a couple Angel didn't even know.

"Tahani, you are so thoughtful," said the woman. "Even with all the chaos earlier, we couldn't be happier."

"Oh, I'm so glad to hear it, Cualli," Tahani said.

"Oh," Angel commented. "We've got maple butter scones, you want one?"

"I made them this morning," Tahani announced.

"They look a bit burnt," Eleanor said, taking a bite. "But they're not, oh fork, that's good!"

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
Eleanor, Tahani & Angel all went home to Tahani's house where Jianyu already was as Tahani was making tea.

"Jianyu, would you like some tea?" asked Tahani. Jianyu nodded, and then walked away. "That nod meant no, apparently."

"I've always found that Buddhist monks have unique ways of communication," Angel commented.

"Well, it was nice to get out and meet all of our wonderful neighbours," Eleanor said. "They all truly belong here.

"I didn't even know some of them," Angel remarked. "But they all knew us, isn't that a bit weird?"

Eleanor looked at Angel weirdly, as Tahani jumped up.

"Well, I should really be going," Tahani said. "I have to complete my 12 step Korean skincare regiment, but, uh, I'll see..." Eleanor turned to leave. "Oh, no, no, no, please the two of you stay and enjoy the evening tea, I'll see you soon."

Tahani left the room, as Angel sat down.

"So, Eleanor," Angel said, "How are you liking it here, you know, in The Good Place?"

"Oh, it's fine enough," Eleanor said. "Nothing seems off, except of course, all the chaos."

"I really do think we need to know what's causing it," Angel said. "This system has a very big flaw and now it's collapsing in on itself. I need to find the flaw before it gets any bigger."

"Well, why don't we start here?" asked Eleanor.

"What do you mean?" asked Angel. "Do you agree with me?"

"I mean we should search Tahani's house, or this room at least for clues," Eleanor said.

"Eleanor, we're not the police," said Angel. "We don't have to search rooms. It would be an invasion of privacy."

"Then where should we look?" Eleanor inclined, she seemed like she was really getting into it now. "Your house?"

Eleanor was very weird. She's been acting really strange all day. Like she's been hiding something all the way through. Nice Angel's found someone to help her out, but Eleanor is definitely one of the weirdest people she has ever met.

"Well, we're going to have to go somewhere," Angel said. "But are you sure you really want to do this?"

"Yes!" Eleanor answered. "If there's anyone who wants to know what's going on in this neighbourhood, it's this gal!"

"OK, I'll see if there's a few books up here which could help us," Angel said.

Angel started looking on the bookshelf, as she heard the drawers open, but when she looked behind, Eleanor was closing the drawer.

"Why were you looking in there?" Angel asked.

"I thought there might be some books in here," Eleanor said. "Well, there wasn't, so..."

"Never mind," Angel said. "We'll meet in my house after Tahani comes back, you okay with that?"

"That's... fine," Eleanor answered.

"Great," Angel said, overjoyed. She'll have a guest. At least for a while. She won't be alone anymore! At least for a little while.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
Angel went back to her house and a few hours later, and a couple of hours later, Eleanor came in.

"So, what's the deal here?" asked Eleanor.

"OK, so here, this dumb points system," Angel started, getting a board out. "Is a result of the afterlife being just as convoluted and dirty as life. You being up here in The Good Place, while almost everyone you know is in The Bad Place. And even if someone you know is in The Good Place, they will be in a completely different neighbourhood and you will never see them again. Your life is cut away from you, entirely. And you might get paired up with a random person you never knew. It's all bullshirt! It has to be. This is a human rights violation 101. But now, the system is collapsing in of itself somehow, like they've finally found a flaw. What is that flaw and how do I thank it? And use it to fix this incredibly already flawed system."

"That was nice lecture and all," Eleanor said, like she was incredibly bored and was glad it was all finished. "But I've got to go early, sorry, I just remembered I got to give something to Tahani. See ya!" Eleanor left the room.

"What a peculiar girl," Angel commented.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
Angel saw Eleanor sitting down on a bench eating some frozen yoghurt the next day.

"Hey, Eleanor," said Angel. "So, how are you?"

"Fine," said Eleanor. "Just fine."

"Have you thought about what I said yesterday?" asked Angel.

"Well, you know I was just..." Eleanor was just about to speak, when Tahani came over followed by Michael & Janet.

"Eleanor, hello," said Tahani. "How are you my dear sweet bestie, oh and Angel, good to see you."

"I'm never better," Eleanor said. "What's up?"

"Well, Janet has been acting as my assistant," Michael said. "It's not what she is designed to do. Didn't go great."

"But now I'm back to normal," Janet said. "It turns out the best Janet was the Janet inside Janet all along."

What a really weird thing to say.

"She was feeling a little lost," Michael continued. "So I gave her a self-help book to restore her confidence."

"Now, I'm living my truth," Janet said. "And creating my bliss."

"That's great for you, Janet," Angel commented.

"Michael asked me if I would serve as his assistant," Tahani explained, "But I'd quite like to focus on my relationship with Jianyu, so I recommended you for the job."

Who would like to work as the weird assistant?

"Eleanor, you and me could work side-by-side to figure out what's wrong with this neighbourhood," Michael explained the job even more. "Will you help me?"

"I'll do it!" Angel said, even though Eleanor was supposed to answer. Working with Michael could really help out her cause. Even though she would kind of be secretly working against him.

"Angel, I was asking for Eleanor," Michael said. "But if you want to volunteer for the job, you can."

An idea sprang into Angel's mind. "Why don't we both do it?" she asked. "Like co-assistants or something?"

"What a great idea, Angel!" Michael said. "What do you say, Eleanor?"

"How could I say no?!" Eleanor said.


	4. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry for the late upload. My laptop broke and I had to revise my draft. Hope you all enjoy the finished version!

Angel worked, and worked and worked. And worked and worked and worked. And worked and worked and worked. And worked and worked and worked. And worked and worked and worked. And worked and worked and worked. And worked and worked and worked. And worked and worked and worked. And worked and worked and worked. And worked and worked and worked. And worked and worked and worked. And worked and worked and worked.

Until she got bored.

Wait, what? Angel had never got bored of work. This is a new feeling. Getting bored of work? Who does that?! This is something which made no sense to her. She's been in The Good Place for about a week, hasn't slept at all, hasn't got tired (why would you sleep when you're dead?). Just been doing more and more work to fix the system. She's took breaks of course, like when she's visiting Eleanor & Tahani, or getting some frozen yoghurt. But she always went back to working and studying.

What's going on?

This has never happened before and should never happen. Maybe this is just different from work in life - No one was there. She was alone. Helen was nowhere to be seen. She wasn't getting lovely messages from her family 300 times a week. There were no distractions.

Just work. Just work. Just work.

She thought this was her paradise, doing non-stop work, no distractions, being happy, she thought it was her way of keeping cool, but now that it's happening, she's not sure what to do, what to say, in a place that is supposed to be paradise.

Of course, she never thought of this place as paradise, she never fell for the lie. But it was no joke that Michael had tried to make this her paradise as much as possible. Maybe to distract her, or maybe because he genuinely wanted her to be happy. Probably the second one because Michael obviously had a boss himself. He didn't create the system and was probably brainwashed to think it was perfect. She could be wrong of course, but she highly doubted Michael had a secret plan or something.

What was she supposed to do?

And then, something came through her letterbox.

Angel, along with almost the entire neighbourhood, were invited to the grand opening of The Good Plates. Oh my god, that is a really, really stupid pun. It seems quaint and avoidable, but it would be rude not to attend. And then she had an idea. Time to get back to work.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' 

"What are you doing?" asked Helen.

"Working," Angel said. "And that means no distractions, you know."

"Well, you're always working," Helen said. "I want to do something fun, like you know, when we were teenagers."

"No, we're not going about like that again," Angel responded. "We're different now. We're travelling the world. Helping people as we go on. And soon, we will go out and get married." Angel turned back to her computer so she can get back to work. "When we find a country which allows it of course."

"That could be years away," Helen said. "Come on, let's have some fun."

Suddenly, Angel got a video call from some people she knew.

"Oh, look who's sending a video call!" Helen exclaimed.

"I'll answer it," Angel said.

"Hey, darling," Angel's mum said. "Where are you now? Oh, hey Helen. Hope we weren't interrupting anything."

"Don't worry Mum," Angel said. "I'm used to your calls disrupting my work."

They laughed. "We know," said Angel's dad.

"I'm currently in Bolivia," said Angel. "I'm on hunger strike to protest Bolivian sex trafficking. It's horrible down here. Don't blame me if I talk a little weirdly."

"I tried to take her out of it, Dad," Helen said. "But she's been doing this for 4 days. You know what's going to happen if you continue, right?"

"Do I look like I care?" Angel turned to Helen.

"Well, sounds like you're having a weird time," said Angel's mum.

"You don't know the heart of it, Mum," Angel said.

"Bye Mum, Bye Dad," Angel waved and then ended the call.

"Now that that's over," Angel said. "Can I get back to work? This letter's still taking a while."

"Whatever you say," Helen went away.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' 

Angel really wondered what was in that restaurant. It might be another deception, but it wasn't ran by Michael, so that seemed unlikely. She didn't think it was another attempt by the system. And she hasn't really ate much since she died aside from frozen yoghurt. Only the vegan flavours of course, which they still had hundreds of. Reminds her of that time in Bolivia. She got pretty sick then. Lucky she survived. Just going to be quite interesting to see what a so called perfect paradise is serving for dinner.

After she typed up her plan for the occasion, she left to go and see what the chef was cooking. Excited? No. She was just attending because she thought it was rude not to accept an invitation. And she was prepared to see what the system was going to throw at her next.

She got there, as Janet greeted her.

"Hi, Angel," said Janet. "Take a seat. Sit anywhere. These tables are for everyone."

Angel got in, and sat on the table next to Eleanor, Chidi & Jianyu.

By herself.

"Hey, Angel," Michael said. "So nice of you to be here. Wasn't sure if you were coming. You were always working."

"It would be rude to reject any invitation," Angel answered. "Unless you've got business more important. Which happened a lot for me in life, but not really in death."

A bit later, Michael, Tahani, and a chef, who Angel presumed was the owner, stood up and had an announcement to make.

"Welcome to the opening of The Good Plates," Michael announced, and then laughed. "I just got it! That's hilarious!"

No it wasn't.

"Anyway," he continued. "At some point or another, every resident in this neighbourhood will fulfill his or her's true purpose." True purpose? What does that even mean? "Chef Patricia has done that tonight by opening this restaurant."

"Well," Tahani said. "If you all take a moment to look at tonight's menus?" Everyone, including Angel looked at their menus. On Angel's, it read 'Your Favourite Meal' in all caps. Angel looked around, it said the same thing on every menu. Eleanor shown Chidi happily. Angel was also happy that she got to eat something nice. Probably some vegan stuff.

"That's right," Tahani continued. "With Michael's help, Chef Patricia has created each person's favourite meal on Earth. Fun!" They all clapped, as Angel scoffed, as they all opened their meals.

Angel looked over her seat and saw Eleanor, Chidi & Jianyu open their meals, as Angel looked in her's. She got some vegan chicken wings. She hoped that this would be things looking up for her.

She spotted Janet coming over to Eleanor's table.

"Hi, I didn't get a meal," she overheard Eleanor say.

"According to our files," Janet started. "Your favourite meal was the hunger strike you went on to protest Bolivian sex trafficking."

Wait, what?

"You did that too?!" Angel went over and exclaimed. "What a coincidence!"

"Yeah, it's so true, Angel," Eleanor said. "Nice how we have so much in common. Was it hard for you?"

"I got a bit sick," Angel said, "But you know, you got to stand up for what's right."

"But you've got a meal," Eleanor observed.

"Yup, guess you believed in your work even more than I did," Angel said.

"Yeah, I'm so much better than you," Eleanor said. "Oh, you know I only meant that as a joke, right?" Eleanor continued to laugh.

As Angel went back to her table, she saw Eleanor, Chidi & Jianyu there, still talking. Eleanor had seemed probably the weirdest person here since she got to the good place. She seemed to be talking about herself a lot, but what she said was a little inconsistent, and didn't always fit Michael & Janet's description. She said she was born and raised in Arizona, even though Michael & Janet realised something different. Of course, Angel didn't know anything for sure, but there was something definitely suspicious about Eleanor. She wasn't going to confront her or anything of course, that would be incredibly rude.

As Angel ate her meal, Michael made an announcement.

"May I have your attention, please," he said. "Later this evening, we will be enjoying Chef Patricia's delicious dessert, a stunning three-tiered cake that took her a full week to complete."

Angel interuppted. "Is it vegan?"

"Thank you, Angel," Michael said. "Technically, it is made with afterlife ingredients, which offered no animal consumption of any kind."

"OK, good," Angel said.

"Anyway, first, I'd like to try something fun," Michael announced. "Each one of you has a very special memory attached to the meal they're eating. Why don't we go around the room and share our stories?" Angel knew a special moment relating to the meal she was eating. "Who'd like to begin?"

"I'll start, Michael," Glenn said. "One day, I wasn't feeling so great, so I made myself a bowl of this chicken soup. It was delicious, then, many other people wanted some, as I saw and went to Africa, with many people starving. I gave many of them bowls of chicken soup. I loved it so much when I ate it and it made many starvation sneak away. Anyway, that's how this simple soup saved 10,000 lives."

After Glenn's story ended, Eleanor & Chidi curiously left the room. Chidi hadn't even finished his meal! There was something very curious about these two.

"Who wants to go next?" Michael asked.

"I'll have a go, Michael," Angel said. "I was with my wife, Helen, who was only my girlfriend at the time, she said she didn't want to become vegan herself because of all the necessities needed to do so. So I made her some of my famous vegan chicken wings. She thought they were as delicious as they should ever be. More delicious than the actual ones themselves. Some might think I'm extreme, but it's one of the many times I've tried to make my wife vegan and the time I come close to succeeding."

Eleanor & Chidi stayed out of the room curiously, as Michael continued to speak. "OK, I think we've got time for one more, who wants to go?"

Jianyu stood up.

"You sure, Jianyu?" Michael asked, as Jianyu nodded. "OK, Jianyu Li, a taiwanese monk who took a vow of silence at the age of eight, and hasn't spoken since, is ready to share with us."

"Let me tell you about Stupid Nick," Jianyu said, nervously.

Just as Jianyu was about to continue, a sinkhole opened up in the middle of the floor.

What?

This did happen shortly after Eleanor & Chidi walked into the room. Could Eleanor be behind all this chaos or was Angel right before, that the system was collapsing in on itself.

"Sinkhole!" Michael shouted. "Everyone out!"

Glenn then fell into the sinkhole.

"Oh my god!" Angel shouted. "Eleanor, we have to talk about this soon. Come to my house tonight."

"Okay," Eleanor said, weirdly.

Eleanor & Chidi ran away, like they were in a hurry. Jianyu left too, clearly nervous after what he just saw.

"Michael, as one of your assistants," Angel started. "I want to stay here and help find a solution."

"That's very nice of you, Angel," Michael said. "But this isn't really for any human to deal with. Everyone out!"

Angel left through the back room, to see if her small suspicions about Eleanor were right. And all she saw was a toppled over cake.

Oh god. How did it get like that?

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' 

Angel left The Good Plates, still a terrible pun, and got home to do work. She still got bored doing it. What was wrong with her? She waited for Eleanor to get there, she finally did. Eventually. After Angel spent hours waiting.

"Where have you been, Eleanor?" Angel asked.

"Sorry," Eleanor said. "Me and Chidi had a lot to do. We were both scared, and wanted to comfort Jianyu."

"Eleanor," Angel said. "This is way too serious. We need to take this more seriously. We haven't been working together long, but we have to do it more. Okay?"

"Okay, got it," Eleanor said, weirdly. "So, what are we going to discuss?"

"You, Eleanor," Angel said. "The other two situations might not be collerated to you at all. But this one happened shortly after you and Chidi went into the back room. Now I suspect it was probably a coincidence, but I couldn't know for sure, so I went into the back room. The cake was knocked over straight after you & Chidi went in there. And that is an incident which could be represented perfectly by the sinkhole. Now, do you or do you not have anything to do with this?"

"It was an accident," Eleanor said. "Me and Chidi wanted a break, because we weren't comfortable sharing our experiences so we ran out, and in the process, accidentally knocked over the cake."

She seemed truthful. Why would Eleanor lie?

"So you're sure you're nothing to do with the chaos?" Angel asked.

"Yes," Eleanor said. "But I'm happy to help you find out who or what it is. And if it isn't the system collapsing in on itself like you proposed it would."

"Good," Angel said. "Common agreement. I'll meet you in your house tomorrow morning so we can talk more. Great to see we've sorted things out."

"Course," Eleanor said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, that's it. Hope you enjoyed it! A little surprise in the next episode which I'm not sure you were expecting.


	5. Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis

Eleanor was settling down into The Good Place. She was finally enjoying learning ethics, trying to be good. She still wasn't a big fan of Tahani or Angel, but she could deal with them at least.

Angel was just so paranoid about everything. Eleanor didn't know what her deal was. It's like she loved her time on Earth so much, and because this place is different, she automatically felt like it was Hell.

Bullshirt.

Eleanor's been trying to stop her from suspecting her but she wasn't sure if it would work for long. Angel seemed smart. Not too smart, but Eleanor thought she was right that there was something wrong with the system. She did deserve a Medium Place and this system didn't have one for some reason. Great. So she might actually be onto something, but not everything in this place was a trick, right?

She was just waiting for Chidi to get back so she can learn more. She knew Chidi was enjoying this too, she could tell. As she was thinking about this, Chidi returned to the room.

"Finally!" she exclaimed. "Whip out the chalkboard, boy. Show me what you're working with."

"Actually, I was going into town to pick up some... blankets," Chidi explained.

"Great!" Eleanor said, happily. "I'll grab my sweater, and then I can practice letting people cut in front of me."

"I've just realised," Chidi started talking, "That I have blankets, so I'm going to take a nap, using the several blankets that I already have. Good night."

"Uh, uh, uh, uh," Eleanor suspected. "What's wrong? Out with it!"

"I'm just tired," Chidi said. "Need a break. No big deal."

"When I told a boyfriend something was 'no big deal'," Eleanor said, "It meant anything from, I just bought weed from your nephew, to I secretly befriended your ex-girlfriend last year, thinks got out of hand, and now I'm her bridesmaid."

"Okay, well, in this case," Chidi said. "It really is no big deal."

"Dude, you're hiding something," Eleanor accused. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Chidi claimed. Falsely, of course.

"What. Is. Wrong." Eleanor demanded. She was sick of this. Chidi had been lying to her for too long.

Just as Eleanor was about to continuously bug him, the door went.

"Oh, there's the door," Chidi said, happily. It obviously saved him. He turned to answer it.

It was Angel.

"Angel, hi," Chidi said. "What brings you here?"

"Here to see Eleanor," Angel said. "I said I'll come over to discuss plans some time today."

Eleanor remembered. Angel did say that.

"Hey, why don't we go into my room?" Eleanor asked.

They both climbed on top of the room which Eleanor secretly hated, as the 'door' closed behind them in the dumbest way possible.

Dammit, she hated this forking house.

"So, new plan," Angel said. "We ask around, see how people are finding their experience in the afterlife. These people will be split up into 5 sections, people who really enjoy it here, people who just enjoy it here, people who are unsure, people who just don't like it, and people who hate everything about it."

Eleanor looked at the board. Angel was right at the end of it, on the hate section. Eleanor would probably be on the unsure section. Because that's exactly how she felt about everything going on right now.

"So, do you want to start now or later?" Angel asked.

"Later, I've got stuff to do," Eleanor said.

"Good, I'll meet you back here soon," Angel said. "Just got to clear everything up before I go."

Angel cleared her stuff up, as Eleanor went into her living room to talk to Chidi. She needed to find out what's wrong.

"So, your distraction is gone now," Eleanor said. "Now, will you please tell me what is wrong?"

"I keep telling you nothing!" Chidi insisted.

"Tell me so badly before Angel comes out and sees us talking," Eleanor got mad.

"Fine!" Chidi exclaimed. "You want to know what's wrong? You! When I wake up, there's Eleanor. When I go outside, there's Eleanor, I spend all day teaching Eleanor. Oh look, this is a nice dream, my grandma's here, oh wait. She has Eleanor's face and... tentacles for some reason!"

"I thought you liked teaching me!" Eleanor shouted. "Now I'm just some huge burden for you?"

"Yes! Of course you are!" Chidi exclaimed. "I am in paradise! I should be doing paradise things, like rowing out on the lake with a good bottle of wine, reading French poetry."

"That's your idea of paradise?!" Eleanor laughed.

"Why not, Eleanor?" Angel said. "All I do is type up plans to see what's wrong with this place all day. Typing. That's my paradise. Now, can you tell me what the fork is going on?!"

"How much did you hear?" Eleanor asked.

"Chidi was talking about why you were a burden," Angel said. "And that he's teaching you. What is he teaching you? Why is he teaching you? WHAT THE FORK IS GOING ON?!"

"Well, you know when I said that I wasn't to blame for the problems with the neighbourhood?" Eleanor said.

"Yes," Angel said, still angry.

"Well..." Eleanor said. "I lied. I am entirely to blame. I'm not supposed to be here."

"WHAT?!" Angel shouted.

"Let's just settle this with a nice, calm talk," Chidi said.

"No, man, you don't get to say anything!" Eleanor shouted.

Just then, a screen came up in the middle of the room.

"Good afternoon," Michael said on the screen. "As you all may remember, a sinkhole recently opened up in the town center. The situation, sadly, has worsened. Starting right now, no one may go outside under any circumstances. Leaving your homes can result in catastrophic damage to you and the very fabric of the universe. Okay, bye."

"Well, I guess we're stuck here," Eleanor sighed.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
"You never told me Angel was onto us!" Chidi said.

"I thought I had it under control," Eleanor said. "She just happened to walk in on us during a fight!"

"Why are you guys talking like I'm not here?" Angel asked. Eleanor & Chidi both sighed. "While we're enjoying our stay in lockdown, you have to tell me everything."

Eleanor & Chidi told Angel everything. The fact that she wasn't supposed to be here, the reasons why, who she really was, and most importantly, why the accidents were caused. Basically, the thing that Angel's dedicating her whole afterlife to. Why? It's probably a weird passion like basically everything Chidi does.

"So, now that we've told you," Eleanor said. "Will you promise to keep it all a secret?"

"Are you kidding me?" Angel said. "Doing that will go against everything I stand for! If we tell Michael, then it would prove that the system went wrong somewhere."

"But it could also risk sending me to The Bad Place," Eleanor pointed out. "And you're not the biggest fan of eternal torture, are you Angel?"

Angel thought for a second. "This is such an ethical dilemma!"

"That's exactly what I said!" Chidi shouted. "Almost every single time."

"Well, this is going to be tough," Angel said. "I might keep you a secret, Eleanor, but after this lockdown finishes, I won't help you. From how you're describing yourself, you were a terrible person."

"Fine," Eleanor said. "Let's just deal with this, shall we?"

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Almost 2 weeks later, the three were all stuck in together, not talking, just sitting about all day. Eleanor had the same channel on TV for 2 days, which she knew was annoying the hell out of Chidi and Angel, who tried to stay away from the two bickering as much as possible.

"Do you mind turning that off?" Chidi shouted. "It's been playing on loop for 2 days!"

"The whole neighbourhood is offline," Eleanor said. "We only get the welcome channel. I would love to not watch TV, but you cancelled school." Eleanor soon realized what atrocity she just said. "What have you done to me, you monster?"

"Look at all those dishes piling up," Eleanor complained. "I used to just throw them in the sink and they'll be magically clean by morning."

"I did that," Chidi pointed out. "I cleaned the dishes."

"I thought you guys promised not to speak to each other while this lockdown was going on," Angel said. "Do you guys ever stop not being an awful couple? This is why soulmates are a forking joke."

"Right, Angel," Eleanor said. "Something we can agree on. Except he is not my soulmate."

"You are unbelievable," said Chidi.

"Still not over it yet?" Eleanor asked.

"Can you two stop fighting for just one second, please?" asked Angel. "It's bad enough not having my work equipment. Being stuck in a house with you two in is Hell. In Heaven."

Just then, there was a knock on the door.

"Hey guys," came the sound behind. "It's Michael."

Everyone groaned, as Eleanor ran to the door.

"Hi, Michael, what a lovely surprise," Eleanor said.

"Oh, I love to make small talk," Michael said. "I've been practicing too. I'm amazing at it, but I'm in a bit of a rush here. This is Bart & Nina. They live right next door and obviously need a place to stay, and I was wondering, as one of my..." Angel stepped into the light as Michael saw her. "Oh, Angel's here, that'll make it easier. As my assistants, maybe you could put them up for a while?"

"Oh, of course," Eleanor said. "Don't think twice."

"Okay, shouldn't take long," Michael said, as he left. "Don't go outside."

"OK, we won't," Angel said.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
"Thank you guys so much," said Nina. "Sorry for the imposition."

"Oh, bah!" Eleanor said.

"Oh, if you wanna know the truth," Bart explained. "We asked Michael if we can stay with you. We are obsessed with your relationship. Always whispering, locking yourself in the house all day."

"I thought I was an expert in true love," Nina said. "Due to my old job, but I have a lot to learn from you guys."

"Your job?" Eleanor questioned. "What was your job?"

"Oh, I was a marriage counsellor," said Nina. "They say I wrote the book on healthy relationships. And I did!" She laughed.

Oh no.

"It's called 'How to Spot Problems in a Marriage from 100 Miles Away'," Nina said.

"Oh, cool," said both Eleanor & Chidi.

"Hope my relationship with Helen didn't make it that far," Angel said.

Eleanor sighed. How much does Angel talk about her wife? Obviously, Eleanor was fine with it, she was bi herself after all, just who talks about her lover that often? Especially when she's dead. Maybe she just misses her?

"Well, what did you do, Bart?" Chidi asked.

"Well, my job wasn't nearly as interesting," Bart said. "I started a company that investigated identity theft. Analyzing body language, tracking and catching people pretending to be someone they're not. It's a snooze, am I right?"

Eleanor got mad.

"Eleanor, can I speak to you in the hall, please?" Chidi asked.

"I'll come with you," Angel said.

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"They are going to catch us!" Chidi complained. "This is an extremely precarious situation! I am vexed, Eleanor!"

What did any of that even mean? "A marriage counsellor and a human lie detector isn't my first choice of company either, but they have no reason to suspect us. Plus, I think they may have actually just come here to, you know, swing. I say we do it. It'll get them to stop asking questions."

"Eleanor," Angel said. "Do you think everyone here is like you?"

"I am not going to have sex with someone to get them to stop talking to me," Chidi said. Well, obviously that's what a guy like Chidi would say.

"Really?" Eleanor said. "You and I are very different."

"That's exactly the point!" Angel said. "You two are incompatible! This neighbourhood is a forking disaster and the two of you know it. More is wrong than just you two."

"We got caught once," Eleanor said. "Not again. If we do go down again, Chidi, it's on you, because you know what, Chidi, YA BASIC!"

"Eleanor..."

"OK, I know you want to do that thing where we're fighting," Eleanor said, "And we're suddenly like 'Woah, this is hot!' and we start making out. Dream on! Oh, whatever, fine, let's just do it!"

Eleanor tried to make out with Chidi until he said, "No, Eleanor, look!"

Eleanor, Chidi & Angel looked out to see Bart & Nina watching them fighting. Oh no. Eleanor really hoped they didn't hear a thing.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
"So how much of that did you hear?" Eleanor asked.

"We couldn't hear you," Bart explained. "But I'm an expert in non-verbal communication, and it's clear, you two are in conflict."

"We're not judging you," Nina said. "This has been a tough couple of weeks. I'm sure the stress of the sinkhole has caused lots of soulmate squabbles."

"And squabbles between friends," Bart added.

"That's one way to put it," Angel said.

"I can help," Nina said. "I'm going to take your relationship and put it under a microscope, and dig and poke and prod until you two are back to soulmate harmony."

"That might be hard," Angel commented. "I'm going to step away."

"She never does the dishes," Chidi said. "I have to do them all the time."

"We just have different interests," Eleanor stated the obvious. "I like relaxing, he likes getting on my case about the dishes."

"I'm getting a lot of repressed anger," Bart said. "I suspected this when I arrived, but now I'm sure. You are hiding something."

Oh no.

"What on Earth would I be hiding?" Eleanor asked.

"No, no, no," Bart continued. "Not you, him."

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"Guys, really," Chidi explained. "It's no big deal."

"It's not a big deal," Nina said. "Is nearly always code for something is wrong."

"Boom!" Eleanor celebrated. "That's what I said. "I should've been a marriage counsellor."

"Okay, Chidi, out with it," Bart said. "What is so unsatisfying about your soulmate relationship?"

"Be honest, Chidi," Eleanor said. "Be, like, the exact right amount of honest so that we can both be happy."

"I never had a soulmate on Earth," Chidi explained. "I never really had a girlfriend that I loved, and when I got here, and when I got here, and Michael said I will finally meet my actual soulmate, I was so excited, and it isn't exactly what I thought."

"You've never actually had an intense relationship before," Nina said. "This is all uncharted territory."

"No wonder you are so tense," Bart said. "You know, Nina and I are skilled in the art of massage. Not erotic massage. Even though it can be, and it often leads there, anyway."

"Okay, well," Eleanor interrupted just in time. "Okay, well, you guys have given us so much to think about, and I think we should go to bed, just the two of us alone, just us."

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After going to the lake to see Chidi, Eleanor went next door to Angel's. She didn't know what to say to her, or why she was going to say it, but she felt like she needed to say something to her.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi," Angel said.

"So, you said you were going to try to stay away from me," Eleanor said. "Do you still think that?"

"I'm re-thinking it actually," said Angel. "I was angry back then, but everyone can get better. Chidi was obviously helping you. I don't feel like I'm doing a moral duty anymore. Maybe it's right to help you, as much as I may hate you, and that's weird, because I don't think I've ever hated anyone before."

"So you're going to help?" Eleanor asked.

"Possibly," Angel said. "As long as you promise never to lie to me again."

Eleanor couldn't promise that, so the next words out of her mouth had to be a lie. "I promise."

"You're lying aren't you?"

Eleanor laughed. "So what are you going to do?"

"Continue doing research," Angel said. "Continue doing what I like to do. We also have to pretend to help Michael, remember?"

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''  
Eleanor & Angel went to see Michael, and saw him standing in the streets, celebrating that the sinkhole was gone.

"Hey, see, it's good as new," he said. "Go ahead, if you want, just... Here. Jump up and down on it." Everyone started jumping.

"Hey, boss," Eleanor said. "You fixed the sinkhole."

"Yup, good as new, crisis adverted," Michael said. "Everyone out." He paused for a moment and when everyone left, he said, "I didn't fix the sinkhole. I tried and tried, but nothing worked, and then all of a sudden, this morning, out of the blue, it just closed over."

"Wow," Angel commented. "That's great. Isn't this good news?"

"No, this is terrible news!" Michael exclaimed. "I have no idea what caused it, Eleanor! And no idea what fixed it. I want you both to come to my office first thing in the morning. All of us three are going to find this problem."

Michael left.

"Oh no," Eleanor said.

"This isn't going to be good," Angel added.


	6. What We Owe to Each Other

Angel hated this place.

Hated it.  
Hated it.  
Hated it.

She wanted to leave. But how? She belonged here. Apparently. But she didn't even like this place. This was supposed to be paradise. But how the hell is it? She's spent almost this entire time moaning about the system, maybe she just needs to relax.

Wait, relax? She wants to relax? What has this place done to her?

But now she has a duty. She has to help out Michael with the fraud which is Eleanor. She thought she was her friend. And she sort of still was, but not in the way she thought.

She was playing her. But she was playing everyone. But she was obviously such an awful person. But she seems to have at least tried to get better. She was getting taught ethics. And she seemed to really like it. Apparently, they told her than Jianyu was a fraud too.

How bad is this system?

Well, she went to Michael's office, and coincidentally walked out of her house at the same time as Eleanor.

"Hey, Angel," Eleanor said.

"So you are going to help Michael?" Angel asked.

"As long as he doesn't find out," Eleanor answered. "Which isn't going to be easy."

"We need to not make it obvious," Angel said. "And no, we are not framing anyone else."

"You shouldn't have said that," Eleanor said. "Now I might get tempted to do it."

"Please don't."

"Well, at least I've got you by my side," said Eleanor. "A good person and a bad person helping out a super-god in finding something which could potentially put the bad person into a literal Hell."

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Angel & Eleanor reached Michael's office as they continued talking.

Eleanor knocked on the door.

"Oh, hey, Eleanor, Angel, thanks for coming in," Michael said. Eleanor & Angel walked in. "Sorry about the mess." They both looked around. The place was completely clean. What was he talking about? "Oh, I forgot, you two don't see in nine demensions." Oh. "There's just, there's just a lot of tension in the air right now."

"Are you all right, buddy?" Eleanor asked. "You seem kind of stressed."

"No, no, no, I'm fine," Michael said. "Top of my game, actually. Um, here, you just both take a seat."

They both sat down on the 2 chairs next to them, as Michael sat down as well.

"So, to prepare to meet all of you," Michael said. "I even watched all ten seasons of the show 'Friends'."

"Friends?" Angel questioned. "You mean that weird sitcom thingy?" Angel hated sitcoms. They were a cheap excuse for television. Granted, she watched nothing but documentaries, but sitcoms were still the worst.

"Well, I did realize this kind of observation," Michael started. "And I know this is the kind of observation which would only occur to an eternal being, but how did they afford that apartment? A waitress and a chef with those Manhattan real estate prices?"

"Yeah," Eleanor answered. "We were all confused about that too."

"Anyway, it's been a tough couple of days," Michael said. "Right now, I could really use two friends by my side."

"Well, you know us," Eleanor said. "The people who have audibly promised to help you."

"Under any cost," Angel added.

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"You sure this is under any cost?" Mary asked. "I trust you, Angel, but people have betrayed my trust before."

"When I say something like this, I mean it," Angel insisted.

"She does," Helen said. "When my girlfriend says she wants to do something, she does it. No matter what."

"Well, good" said Mary. "Because this parachute jump is the best way to save up money for my mother's treatment."

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"I never really looked round your office the first day," Eleanor observed, trying to distract Michael. "What is all this junk?"

"Well, technically architects aren't allowed to own any human objects," Michael explained. "But I just love them so much!"

"These objects?" Angel observed, looking around. "They're really nothing special, you know?"

"Well, just look at this!" Michael exclaimed, as they walked over to a big pile of paper clips. "Aren't paper clips just the most amazing things in the world?"

Eleanor nor Angel had no idea what to say at this awkward moment.

"Anyway, my current theory is that there is some object in this neighbourhood is a design flaw which is causing everything to go haywire," Michael explained.

"So, we need to find that object," Eleanor said.

"We're going to start with the rocks," Michael started. "Now, I've investigated all the rocks in this neighbourhood." Michael reached under the desk. "These are 78 of the most suspicious."

"Maybe to an architect, they look suspicious," Eleanor pointed out. "But to me, they just look like rocks. So I'm not sure how I can help."

"Me too," Angel spoke up.

"Do any of them look defective?" Michael asked, as Eleanor & Angel both shook their heads. "Sinister? You know, like they're taunting you? Always one step ahead? YOU LITTLE MONSTERS, YOU!" He started playing at the rocks, as he picked them up, thinking they were evil. Is this really what architects thought about simple rocks? Or were rocks actually evil?

Angel didn't know what to say, but Eleanor spoke up. "Okay, let's take a deep breath here, buddy," she said. "You need to chill a little. Cause you have a pshyco burnout guy muttering to himself at a library computer type vibe."

"It's my responsibility to solve the problem," Michael stated. "What else can I do except keep working?"

"You can stop working," Eleanor suggested. What? "Look, I promised to help you, and the way I can help you is to force you to take a break."

"And not working will help me work?" Michael questioned.

No.

"Yes," Eleanor continued. "Recharge the old batteries. I promise, this is going to help all three of us. Let's go!"

"Okay," Michael said. "Let's keep an eye out for twigs with a nefarious agenda."

Eleanor carried Michael out, as Angel went to her.

"Eleanor, can I talk to you for a second?" she asked.

"Eleanor, what do you think you're playing at?" Angel asked. "How will this help? If anything, it will just make things worse!"

"Chill out, girl," Eleanor said. "He needs a break. He's overworking and it's not healthy. Plus it will distract him long enough to probably think it was a different problem.

"Do you really think this is wise?" Angel asked.

"It's good for both of you," Eleanor insisted. "Don't you want to get out of being super nice and doing boring work for once?"

Angel thought about it, and maybe Eleanor's right. She hasn't been enjoying work as much as usual lately, and she didn't know exactly why. Maybe doing something else would help her.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

"What is it with you and frozen yoghurt?" Eleanor asked when we went to get some. "Have you not heard of ice cream?"

"Oh, sure," Michael said. "But I've come to really like frozen yoghurt. There's something so human about taking something great and ruining it a little so you can have more of it."

"You don't have to tell me twice," Angel said.

"Why do you need two humans to be your assistants?" Eleanor asked, curiously. "I mean, aren't there more of whatever you are?"

"Well, since we're becoming friends," Michael starts, "Like Ross and Phoebe..."

"Weird combo to pick, but okay," Eleanor said.

"Am I the only one who doesn't watch sitcoms?" Angel asked, but they ignored her.

"I'm going to tell you two a secret," Michael said. "Usually architects don't live in their neighbourhoods. Usually, people show up, we play the movie, Janet is there to answer questions, and then you're on your own. But I had this theory that transition would be easier that the architect was on-site for at least the first 2,000 years or so."

"That's why you've been so freaked out," Eleanor figured out. "Your butt is on the line."

"My boss thought I was nuts," Michael explained. "And if this neighbourhood doesn't work, I am in big trouble. But more importantly, I promised all of you that you would be safe and happy. And you just don't break a promise. Unlike Ross, when he promised Emily not to talk to Rachel."

Angel was sick of this. Who were these people? How bad are sitcoms really? It's not like she's living in a fanfiction of one right now!

"Wow, you are really into that show," Eleanor said.

"Maybe a little too much," Angel suggested.

"You know something?" Michael said. "I feel better already. Should we get back to work?"

Phew. No more talk about weird sitcoms. "Yes! Let's go!"

"Stop!" Eleanor exclaimed. "The whole point is to stop thinking about work and start having fun. Now, what should we do first?"

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Eleanor took Angel & Michael on a lot of trips to places and doing things which they haven't done before. They went to karaoke, the arcade, and they even went bowling.

"I haven't felt this alive in well my whole life," Angel said after getting a strike in bowling. "And I'm dead!"

"See!" Eleanor said. "Seems you missed out on a lot then, Angel."

"And I thought I had done everything," Angel remarked.

"You know something?" Michael asked. "As much as I've always wanted to be around humans, I think I've missed a big part about what makes them wonderful. Sometimes all you guys think about is how you can have the most fun."

Angel realized. She never thought about that. Did that make her wrong? Did that make her not human? She always thought about doing what's right that she never even once considered to just relax and have fun for a time. Like that time, she did a parachute jump. She wasn't doing it for fun. Did she ever really have fun? Or was she just a custom to so many things which she found 'fun'?

Or was she just too much of a good person?

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"Okay," Angel said. "This is going to be hard."

"You volunteered to do it!" Helen said. "I'll be with you all the way!"

"America is awful," Angel complained. "I mean seriously, why do you have to pay for this treatment?"

"Just do it," Helen commanded.

Angel jumped out of the helicopter as the parachute started to open. It took a while, but she landed safely on land. It wasn't as scary as it seems. Especially considering she was doing it for a good cause.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

When they were done, they went back to Michael's office to talk about their day. It was the best day of Angel's life. Or death. How ever you want to say it. But it was still a fantastic day.

"So, would you say I helped you today?" Eleanor asked.

"Oh, so much," Angel said. "I had fun, I didn't think about my problems, and I won this ugly yellow toddler which is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen!" Angel just noticed. "Oh, you were talking to Michael, weren't you?"

"Well, Angel basically said how I felt," Michael said. "Thank you for this amazing day, Eleanor!"

"All right," Eleanor said. "I'll see you tomorrow, friend."

Angel and Eleanor walked out together as Eleanor started talking.

"So it looks like you had fun today," Eleanor said."

"More than ever!" said Angel.

"Is this really all you did on Earth?" Eleanor asked. "Just lounged about, did hard work mostly for charity?"

"I don't know how," Angel said. "How did I get through life without a little inkling just telling me to relax and have fun? Sometimes it seems like you might just stop thinking about it and relax. I had so much fun. Thanks."

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

The next day, after Angel's long sleep (yes, she actually slept), she woke up with a smile, excited of what she could do. She went with Eleanor to see Michael.

"Hey, buddy," Eleanor said. "I have lots of fun things for us to do today!"

"Eleanor, I have huge news!" Michael celebrated. "Not working actually worked."

"It did what now?" Eleanor questioned.

"After our day off," Michael explained. "With a completely clear head, I realized part of what makes humans so fun is that they're unpredictable. The chaos we've been experiencing is exactly what would happen if a resident behaved unpredictably. The problem, is not a rock or an object. It's one of the people!"

Oh no.

"We need to celebrate!" Michael shouted. "Paper clip shower!" Michael weirdly threw paperclips on both Eleanor & Angel which annoyed both of them but they pretended to be fine with it for Michael's sake.

Even though Angel just wanted to go and have fun like yesterday.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

"So do you think we're looking for a man, or do you think we're looking for two men?" Eleanor said in a desperate plea when they got outside.

"Not sure," Michael said. "We don't know anything about this person. I mean does he or she even know that they caused all these problems? No, that can't be. What kind of monster would wreak havoc and then say nothing?"

Angel suddenly realized why she was angry with Eleanor just a couple of days ago.

"So this was the main place where the garbage fell from the sky," Michael said. "Janet."

Janet appeared. "Hi there."

"I need a list of everyone that was here on garbage duty during orientation," Michael asked.

Janet gave her the list which had the names of everyone, including Angel & Eleanor.

"Eleanor, Angel," Michael said. "Our criminal is on this very short list."

"People were flying that day too," Janet said. "I'll add everybody who flew overhead."

"Eleanor, Angel, our criminal is on this much longer list," Michael said, as Eleanor smiled, obviously hoping that she was left off the hook.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

The three then went to The Good Plates Restaurant to see where the next place was. Angel just wanted to have some more fun, but it was her duty to help people.

"This is where the sinkhole opened up," Michael said. "And the guest list that night was limited."

Eleanor looked scared that Michael was going to figure out exactly what Angel figured out on that day.

Janet then appeared. "There were a total of 31 people here that night," Janet said.

Michael celebrated, hoping that that number didn't get higher.

"How do you pump your fist again?" he asked.

"But 66 others passed through to take a look before it opened," Janet added. "And everyone else in the neighbourhood was in a close radius."

"Oh, boy, that doesn't narrow it down at all," Eleanor said, pretending to be annoyed, and doing a pretty good job at it. "Feels like the end of the road. End of the Road, Boyz II Men, karaoke. Let's go, don't think about it too much."

Eleanor turned to go. "Right behind you," Angel said, before Michael stopped.

"Janet?" Michael said. "My hoodie, please." He looked sad. Really sad.

"What's happening?" Eleanor asked.

"I give up," Michael said. "I can't help the people I promised that I would help. I feel like Friends in Season 8, running out of ideas and forcing Joey & Rachel together, even though it made no sense. I hope the sinkhole opens up again and swallows me whole."

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Angel got down to the ground, happy she had done the jump to save a life, and was excited to see what Mary saw when she got down.

"Thank you," Mary said. "You did it. I'll now be collecting the money."

"Happy I could help," Angel said.

"Yes, this will benefit me by a lot," Mary said.

"But I thought I was doing this for your mother?" Angel asked.

"Ha! My mother died 15 years ago," Mary confessed. "This was all set up as a get rich quick scheme and it worked. You people are so goody-goody that you fall for anything."

Angel came into attack her, but she couldn't.

"What are you going to do, hit me?" Mary asked. "Who will that benefit? Now, would that money be in that bank account?"

"You are a sick twisted woman," Angel said.

"Oh, I am," Mary said. "And I don't care. As long as I get my money."

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Angel ran over to help Michael. Eleanor closely followed.

"Don't you ever say something like that," Angel said. "Humans can do it all they want, but you're you. You're not human. You shouldn't feel like this."

"We promised we can help you," Eleanor said. "You wanna look at a million rocks like a psycopath, we'll be there. If you want to just lay here and cry in your hoodie, I'm cool with that. But I don't know how I can help you, we're humans, and you're like this super-magical Orville Redenbacher-type guy who invented this entire universe, but I'll do my best. I'm here for you. And I'm sure Angel's here for you too."

"I am," Angel said. "On Earth, I would help any creature in need, you are an amazing creature. We will do whatever it takes to help you."

Michael got up and looked at Eleanor. "Oh, my gosh. Of course, how did I not see it?" He went over to Janet. "Janet, I found the answer to our problem. Call a neighbourhood meeting."

"Should it be festive and casual or moribund and devastating?" Janet asked.

"Moribund and devastating, please."

"Great."

"What do we do?" asked Angel, in a quiet voice.

"Guess there's nothing to do other than mourn me," Eleanor said, as Michael & Janet left.

"Well, I'm going to miss you," Angel said. "Especially after yesterday."

"I'll miss you too," Eleanor said.

They hugged, as they went outside, where the chairs already were. Chidi came over, seeing the two of them sitting together, as he joined them.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Well, we did what we said," Eleanor said. "We honoured our agreement to help Michael find the problem, and he found the problem."

"I'm so sorry," Chidi said.

"After I'm gone, take down the rest of those clown paintings," Eleanor asked. "But leave up the sexy mailman. To remember me by."

"You put a sexy mailman up in your house?" Angel questioned. "No, actually I'm not going to put down on this while your eternity is on the line."

"Thank you for all our patience with the problems in our neighbourhood," Michael said. "I have finally discovered the cause. There was one common link among every incident. When I figured it out, it was a shock. But there's no escaping it. The problem is me. And now I have to leave you forever."

What?


End file.
